Dumber and Plumber
Dumber and Plumber 'is the forty-eighth in the Crotchety Old Man Calls series. Transcript ''(water pouring out of toilet) (ringback tone) '''John: ''(censored)'' Plumbing. Milton: 'Oh! Thank God you've answered! Who is this? '''John: '''This is John. '''Milton: '''John, I've got a plumbing emergency! In other words, I'm up Crap Creek without a paddle! '''John: '''Okay, sir. How can I help ya? '''Milton: '''I've got a water flood everywhere! I was in my bathroom and I was soaking my dentures in a big glass of extra strength Efferdent! I accidentally dropped my chompers in the toilet! I-! '''John: '''Uh-oh! '''Milton: '''I subsequently tried to reach into the toilet to get 'em out and that's when I got my arm stuck up towards the shoulder! '''John: '''Woah, woah... '''Milton: '''I'm stuck in-! '''John: '''Woah! Wait a minute, hold on- you got your arm stuck? '''Milton: '''It's wedged all the way down and I can't get it out! ''(Milton flushes toilet) 'Milton: '''I'm trying to flush myself free! '''John: '''Okay, hang on now. You don't wanna flush the toilet. '''Milton: '''What?! '''John: '''You do not want to flush the toilet. '''Milton: '''I can't hear you! I think I have water stuck in my eardrums! I can't-! '''John: '''Sir, you do not want to flush the toilet! ''(Milton flushes toilet again) 'John: '''Sir! '''Milton: '''Nothing is happening! '''John: '''I said don't flush the ''(censored)-damn toilet! 'Milton: '''I think you're a freakin' fraud! You don't know what the hell you're talking about! '''John: '''Now hold on a second! I am certified! '''Milton: '''I keep flushing and flushing! You don't know what you're talking about! '''John: '''Sir-! ''(Milton flushes toilet again) 'John: '...start doing as I tell you! 'Milton: '''What?! '''John: '''I told you don't flush the toilet! '''Milton: '''I'm trying to-! '''John: '''You gotta turn the water off! '''Milton: '''I can't! It's starting to get high in here! I can start swimming around like a damn fish in an Olympic swimming pool! '''John: '''Aww! ''(splashing noises) 'Milton: '''Listen! '''John: '''Sir, you've got to turn the water off! '''Milton: '''I can't reach the valve! '''John: '''Turn...there's a valve. There's a little- '''Milton: '''I know...I can't reach it! '''John: '''You've gotta be kidding... '''Milton: '''I can't reach the- the water level's getting high! It's about to reach the countertop and I have a hair dryer plugged into the wall! '''John: '''Sir, you're gonna have to pull that dryer out- '''Milton: '''I can't-! '''John: '''You gotta turn the water off! '''Milton: '''I can't reach- the water's about to hit the hair dryer! ''(Milton gets electrocuted) (Milton screams and hollers in pain) 'John: '''What is your address, sir? '''Milton: '''I got jolted! I lost my memory! I don't know! I'm starting to get under the-! ''(Milton drowns and gurgles water) '''John: '''Oh my God- '''Milton: ''(gurgling)'' John: '''Sir... '''Milton: ''(gurgling)'' John: '''Sir! '''Milton: ''(gurgling)'' John: '''Sir! '''Milton: ''(gurgling)'' John: '''You must reach the-! You gotta turn off-! '''Milton: ''(gurgling)'' 'John: '''You need to open a door! Sir, can you open the door?! ''(Milton drowns and dies) ''(ringback tone) '' Category:Prank calls